She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
try to milk me bitch
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
