I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
