Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
