just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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