I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize