You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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