a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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