Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
