we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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