my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
