i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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