Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
