I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
