You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
