I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize