just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Reggie can tackle my bush.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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