I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
