sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
