OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
