like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
