you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
