I need help removing her.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
