Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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