I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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