And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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