My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
