Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
