i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
