Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
