I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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