i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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