you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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