Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
