Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
