I showed him my bush... on skype.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
