i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
zippers are such a cool invention
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
