Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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