when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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