So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
