At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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