is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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