woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
