My pussy is not your playground.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
