During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
