i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
