Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
