do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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