He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
