Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
