why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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