Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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