Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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