Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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