Plan B is the new Plan A
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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