Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How does one acquire holy water?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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