I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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