y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
