I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
