But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
