So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize