i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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